for the girls, the gays & theys

I hope you find someone who never stops seeing the beauty in your darkest storms.

there is nothing closer to infinity than heaven

isn‘t it tragic that we destroy everything we have left

sunsets never fail to amaze me

the moon knows all my secrets. she has seen me at my darkest times but she stayed. i still talk to her every now and then and she would just listen patiently. i love the moon, she is my soulmate.

When Barbie said something like: If I’m not pretty I’m not enough because that‘s the only thing I‘m good at, I felt that deep in every cell of my body. I never had any talent. I can‘t write, I can‘t sing, I‘m not that smart, I can‘t play an instrument, I can‘t crotch or stitch, I can‘t sew, I can‘t tell jokes because either I missed half of it or messed up the punchline. I‘m not pretty pretty. I have always been average in all of these things. Not bad, but also not good.

I‘m 24 with neither talent nor beauty. I’m not the sunshine in peoples life, I’m more like a gray sky with thick rainy clouds. I‘m not a good listener. I can‘t give good advice. But I try, okay? I‘m trying.

But how can I be ever good enough for myself when I literally don‘t know what defines me. What is my purpose in a world which strives for perfection, when I am just plain average?

I don‘t get sarcasm all the time. I get mad and angry a lot. I cry when I‘m too angry. I don‘t talk about my problems, I shut down. Because no one wanted to listen to me, when I was a teen. I screamed my heart out for someone to notice me, but no one did. I was alone, and now I like being alone. But sometimes I feel lonely.

I sleep in, I start reading books just to toss them away for a few months. I rarely get excited. I listen to Phoebe Bridgers on routine. I am not a bad bitch. I can‘t dance and I don‘t have self-esteem. Most of the time I avoid looking in a mirror. When people tell me I‘m not funny, I question myself for weeks. Because I can‘t rely on being pretty, so I have to be funny, right? But when you tell me I‘m not, what have I left?

menace-bitch:

(via spongebobssquarepants)

ALT

quick reminder for all the beautiful human beings out there - you may not see it right now but you are so beautiful, inside and out 🫶

growing up as a girl is to realise you have learned far too early to care about others and their feelings. while boys were outside fighting with sticks or playing with the knight’s castle or pirate ship, I was taking care of the sick people in my playmobil hospital. while boys could still play with their toys or outside, I was taught how girls behave, how they dress, how they talk.

I learned empathy when I tucked in my stuffed animals every night. I learned empathy when the only one who would take care of me when I was sad or ill, was my mom. sometimes even when she herself wasn‘t feeling well.

and maybe that’s why I put my feelings behind and sacrifice myself for every person and can’t stop giving everything and asking for nothing in return. because I think it’s my job. I have to be the emotional care taker. and I don’t want that anymore. because every time, the inner girl in me screams, “what about me? please don’t forget about me!”

and when you said how you‘ll never be good enough for me and that I deserve better, I should have listened to you.

natha1r:

(via real)

likecocain:

(via aitaiy-deactivated20220810)